"Hillary Clinton operated a covert laboratory, paid for by the Illuminati, in the basement of a pizza restaurant on the flat side of the Earth where they filmed the Moon landings in which lizard-people created 5G, human biochips, and viruses that cause flatulence, impotence, AIDS, and Covid-19. I fear for my life because she has already killed so many people but I have a reliable government source for this, my mailman. Prove me wrong."

I love this stuff. I wish Verizon had a "Conspiracy Channel."